Tired but trying

Our son learned to read before he was three years old. He joined an online playgroup for a year while I used a reading program that emphasized phonetics/phonemes.

Though we don’t religiously memorize Bible verses, our reading practice is more on Bible stories and children’s books that promote good values.

I play Bible songs and Bible stories on Spotify almost everyday.

As I write this, (I’m not proud of this) I have a pending, long overdue report for the last quarter of his assessment. After a milestone presentation around the 20th week of our curriculum, our academic learning times went downhill due to successive sicknesses.

Mentally, something in me sort of broke and I got at a crossroads (still on one) considering whether it’s really worth it to continue on the path we have chosen.

If I may share, here are some of the topics our little one has learned in about 24+ weeks of Kindergarten (on top of Bible stories and principles):

Timeline Age of Ancient Empires to Modern Times
Skip counting 2s til 15s
Associative Law of Addition
Associative Law of Multiplication
Geometry, Fractions
Geography (we’re ‘behind’ with maps)
English Prepositions
Latin Declensions
Elements of shape, abstract art, Renaissance artists
Mozart, Handel, Bach, the Orchestra
Classification of living things
Science experiments

This is not a complete, exhaustive list but I.am.exhausted trying to go through them in my mind.

I couldn’t bring myself to the required mental and emotional state I used to have to consistently prepare for ‘school’.

Discipline isn’t pleasant, it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable.

I am reminded: a good education matters when Christ is at the center. Unless we discipline ourselves and pursue excellence for the goal of glorifying God, all hardwork is only vanity. Or maybe I’m lazy.

I’m still in the process of finding the intersection of discipline and love for learning. I have to find that rhythm where learning remains to be fun, not a chore. I like long-distance runs over sprints, personal bests over trophies, chill over hustle.

As I write this, our little learner is currently on medication for what the doc suspects is either mpox or hand, foot and mouth disease.

We’re taking it easy.

Homeschooling isn’t only school at home.

Harmonica

I’ve been spending too much time on X.

I dreamt of Elon Musk.

I was a girl. We sat together in what looked like an open train.

No words, our eyes talked. Neither romantic nor filial.

He’s so tall.

I looked up to him as he wrapped his right arm around me.

Then he started playing music… with parts of his face.

I had childlike wonder on my face.

He smiled lightly and brought out something about as wide as his mouth, a harmonica.

One after the other, parts of his face popped and played music – his cheeks, his nose, his eyes, his forehead.

I laid my head on his chest as the train kept moving forward, the cool breeze brushing on my cheeks.

I was safe.

Then I awakened.