Got cold feet?

Silhouette of a bride standing in a puddle, wearing a wedding dress and sneakers, with soft bokeh lights in the background.

I did… the night of December 19, 2012.

I was all alone in a food court in Ortigas. I didn’t have a bag with me. I had less than Php100 in my pocket and my nearly-drained tablet.

I left my mom with a lady friend in the hotel we were booked in for my DIY breakfast wedding.

I thought things through for the nth time. All details were set. People we invited confirmed they’ll be there.

“Will it glorify God?” was the question.

Will it glorify God if I just… disappeared?

I woke up the next morning, mom and I and my lady friend were even able to have a short devotional. Mom braided my hair with DIY hairpins. I did my own makeup.

For some reason, another lady friend thought it best to lock me in a friend’s car with the aircon off for so many minutes before letting me in.

Perhaps to ensure that I won’t run away?

Anyway, by the grace of God, our small wedding pushed through . We exchanged our vows. Everyone came and went, until it was only my husband and I left.

We got enough cash to settle the restaurant bills.

We had enough to last our first week together.

And we had just enough to cover the first three months of our rented home.

Just enough.

It’s been almost 13 years since then.

The question I have now is: “Is God more glorified in and through me today than He was, 13 years ago?”

Meanwhile.

A bride-to-be disappeared on December 10th this year, just 4 days before her wedding. She fit her wedding dress. Last communication with her fiancé was about wedding shoes: she was going to buy a pair.

She wore a black jacket over black pants, and rubber shoes. She left her phone at home and only had a coin purse with her.

I’m not imeldific – I can’t afford to be one. So it takes a looooot of time for me to find “the perfect fit” by myself. Thankfully, my fiancĂ© back in 2012 mall-hopped with me so I can decide and find the pair that would best fit my dress. (I actually wanted for us to wear running shoes but he didn’t agree.)

Anyway. So where is the bride-to-be?

I can only guess, in the simplest of ways, that perhaps she got awfully tired of looking for the perfect pair of shoes and chose to disappear.

People say there are monasteries in the vicinity where she was last seen. Perhaps she’s there.

The Fairview Center Mall (FCM) is where the bride-to-be was going to buy her shoes. Could she be in one of the three monasteries in the area?
The Fairview Center Mall (FCM) is where the bride-to-be was going to buy her shoes. Could she be in one of the three monasteries in the area?

Will this missing person search glorify God? I have no doubt it will – it does, as we speak.

Proverbs 25:2, NASB: “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.”

Be Present

“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”1 Thessalonians 4:14

I am still in disbelief, grieving my Momsie’s passing. I realize, however, that this disbelief stems from regret. I regret not having spent more time with her or showing up for her. I regret it in pretty much the same way I regretted not having spent much time with my Papa, my Lola and even my uncles. Spending quality time may not be my top love language, but God calls me “to redeem the time because the days are evil” (see Ephesians 5:15-16). God doesn’t waste any of my pains, even my regrets, and life is too short to wallow on regrets. Grief is hard but today I can make a choice. I can choose to honor the memory of these important people in my life by paying it forward.

From my Papa, I have learned to take responsibility for my own actions and choices. “You made your bed, you must lie on it,” he would say. Thank you, Papa. I miss you.


One of my uncles admonished me about my anger problem before: “Mabait ka naman eh, wag ka lang padaig sa galit.” Salamat po, Tito Banie.

My maternal grandmother, though she wasn’t as wordy as I am, taught me the value of persevering in prayer for the people we love. Lola Tutay, mahal kita.


My dearest Momsie Melanie who, in my U-turn days to Jesus, took me in and nurtured my fledgling, prodigal soul. Momsie humbly shared her 5 loaves and 2 fish to Jesus, and He faithfully multiplied it. She exemplified the inclusive love of Jesus, the love that doesn’t play favorites, His compassionate and gentle love that celebrates me for who I am – warts and all – and never gave up believing that I can become who God intends me to be. Salamatmuchee, Momsieee.

Even as I grieve and my heart is still in the process of healing and recovery, I will choose today, to honor the ones I love by being more present with those who are present with me. So help me God.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

What to Talk About: Polite Conversation Starters and the model of Jesus

Ever wish you could easily spark a fun conversation? I do! With a few simple starters, we can turn any gathering into a joyful connection!

Here are safe topics in any environment:

1. Hobbies and Interests – Ask about books, movies, gardening, crafts, or other leisure activities. “What hobbies do you enjoy in your free time?” “Which good book or great movie do you recommend?”

2. Travel – Share experiences or ask about favorite destinations, travel tips, or future plans. “What’s the best vacation you’ve ever had?” “What’s the top destination in your travel bucket list?”

3. Food – Discuss favorite recipes, local restaurants, or culinary adventures. “What’s your favorite dish to cook or eat?” “Have you discovered any new restaurants or recipes recently? What’s a recipe you’d like to try?”

4. Family Activities – Talk about fun activities you do with your family or ask about theirs. “What’s a fun activity your family likes to do together?” “Do you have any family traditions that you cherish? Which one would you like to start?”

5. Current Events – Discuss non-controversial news stories or events, like community happenings or cultural events.“Which community event have you joined recently?” “What’s a positive or funny news story you’ve come across lately?”

6. Pets and Animals – Share stories about pets or ask about their experiences with animals. “Do you have any pets? What are their names? What kind of pet would you like to have?” “What’s the funniest thing your pet has ever done?”

7. Home Improvement – Exchange tips on home projects, gardening, or DIY ideas. “Are you working on any home improvement projects right now? Which project are you considering to start?” “What’s your favorite home improvement hack?”

8. Local Attractions – Discuss interesting places to visit in the area, such as parks, museums, or festivals. “Have you visited any new places in the area recently? Where would you like to visit?” “What’s your favorite local spot to relax or have fun?”

These topics are generally more enjoyable and can help foster connections without the risk of discomfort.

On the flip side – unless you’re with close friends or people in your circle of trust – avoid these like the plague:

1. Politics – Opinions can clash quickly, leading to uncomfortable conversations.

2. Religion – While faith can be a beautiful topic, it can also lead to deep divides if not approached carefully.

3. Personal finances – Questions about income or spending habits can feel intrusive and create discomfort.

4. Personal Relationships – Questions about someone’s marital status, dating life, or family issues can feel invasive. Talking about exes can stir up old emotions or lead to comparisons, making others uneasy.

5. Health Issues – Discussing personal health problems or medical conditions can make others uncomfortable.

6. Controversial Issues – Topics like abortion, gun control, and social justice can spark strong emotions and disagreements. Debates on issues like climate change or social justice can ignite passionate disagreements, making conversations tense.

What would Jesus do?

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” — Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

Communication is a vital part of our daily interactions, and for those of us who identify as followers of Christ, we are called to reflect His love and grace in our conversations. Jesus exemplified perfect communication, engaging with people in ways that were both polite and meaningful. He knew how to approach every situation with wisdom and kindness, making those around Him feel valued and understood.

Jesus as Our Model

1. Empathy in Conversation:

Jesus often took the time to listen and understand those He interacted with. Whether it was the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4) or the blind man (Mark 10:46-52), He engaged them with genuine interest. We can follow His example by asking about others’ interests, sharing thoughts on hobbies, and exploring their experiences.

• Starter: “What hobbies do you enjoy in your free time?”

2. Building Relationships:

Jesus built relationships with those around Him, often sharing meals and time together. He demonstrated that conversation can foster connection. We can ask about family activities, traditions, and shared interests to strengthen our relationships.

• Starter: “What’s a fun activity your family likes to do together?”

3. Promoting Positivity:

Jesus spoke words of encouragement and hope. He focused on uplifting those around Him. We can incorporate positive news or light-hearted stories in our conversations to create an uplifting atmosphere.

• Starter: “Have you heard about any interesting events happening in the community?”

4. Celebrating Creation:

Jesus often used nature in His teachings, showing appreciation for God’s creation. We can admire the beauty around us by discussing local attractions or favorite outdoor spots.

• Starter: “What’s your favorite local spot to relax or have fun?”

As we interact with others, we can be intentional about our conversations the way Jesus did. Let’s engage others with humility, genuine curiosity and kindness. Remember LOVE: Listen as you Observe and when you Verbalize, Empathize. We can choose topics that bring joy and connection, helping others feel seen and heard.

Let’s pray.

Father God, thank You for the gift of communication. Help me to reflect Your love in my conversations. Give me the wisdom to choose words that encourage and uplift others. May my interactions be full of grace, just as You have shown me. In Jesus’ sweet name, Amen.